Tips for Defusing a Fight with Your Significant Other

No one wants to fight with their significant other, but a fight can still happen. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, we let things get out of hand, and something trivial escalates into a huge shouting match. The best thing to do in these situations is defuse the fight before it gets out of control and you start saying things you will regret later. Here are some tips you can use to defuse a fight with your partner:

Deep Breaths

When you feel yourself getting heated, and your heart accelerated, stop and take a few deep breaths. This will calm you down so that you can continue the discussion more calmly.

Empathy

Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Consider how they feel about the situation. This can help you see the argument from a different perspective, and open your mind to compromise.

Hug It Out

Physical contact can help you remember the affection you feel for one another so that you can calmly and rationally discuss the issue without hurting the other person.

Listen, Repeat

Listen carefully to the other person’s side of the argument, and then repeat it back to them in your own words. This lets them know that you are listening to them. Sometimes arguments get heated because neither one of you feels like the other one is paying attention to what they actually have to say. This can also help both of you find the clarity in the situation.

Make a Pros and Cons List

Sit down with your significant other and make a pros and cons chart of both sides of the argument. Then, try to work out a solution that meets both of your needs.

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Better Safe Than Sorry – Tips for a Night Out

A night out with friends can be a great experience, but if you aren’t careful things can go south very quickly – especially if there is drinking involved. Drinking in moderation is fine, but even a small amount of alcohol can impair your judgment and motor skills. That’s why it’s important to have a plan in place before you go out. Here are a few safety tips that are essential for staying safe during a night out.

Designate a Driver

You should always designate one person to stay sober and help the rest of the group get home safely. Even if you plan on using a cab, Uber, or public transportation, you should always have one sober person to help shepherd everyone to where they need to go. This person should also help you and your friends avoid dangerous situations.

Watch Your Drink

Never let your drink out of your sight. If you need to use the bathroom, give it to your designated driver to watch. Someone could slip something into your drink without you knowing, which can lead to a very dangerous situation.

Have an Exit Strategy

It’s important to have the number of the nearest taxi company saved in your phone. If you don’t want to take a cab, have the app for either Uber or Lyft installed on your phone. This way, you can always get a ride. It’s very important that you never attempt to drive when you have been out drinking.

Limit Your Drinking

It takes an adult about one hour to process one standard size drink. Consuming one single drink per hour and drinking plenty of water in between will ensure that you do not go overboard. This doesn’t ensure that you’ll be able to drive, but it should prevent a blackout and a nasty hangover.

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What to Do When Your Partner is Ordered to Take Anger Management Courses, Pt. 2

In our last post, we covered some general tips that you can use to help your partner as they complete their court ordered anger management courses. In this post, we’ll go over some more ways that you can help them become a better person through their courses.

Reflect

Reflecting on your own behavior does not mean blaming yourself for your partner’s anger. It is an important tool when it comes to helping your partner manage your anger. Think about whether or not you do anything to escalate arguments, or if you try to resolve them. This could be a chance for both of you to improve your role in the relationship and come out of this experience stronger.

Pick Your Battles

Exercise restraint when it comes to your differences. Every single couple has a million things that they can fight about, but it’s important to figure out what is worth the time and energy, and what you can let go. Your partner will be learning this in their courses as well.

Bide Your Time

When your partner is angry, they are not thinking straight. If you have an issue that needs to be addressed, try to bring it up when your partner is calm and has the ability to discuss the problem rationally. This will help them learn to communicate without anger.

Be a Cheerleader

Let them know that you appreciate their efforts to get better. If they are doing well in their courses, tell them you are proud of them. If they hear encouragement from the person they love, they will make an even stronger effort to manage their anger and excel in their court ordered classes.

Your partner is not in this alone. With your help, they can complete their anger management courses, become a better person, and be better able to build their future with you.

What to Do When Your Partner is Ordered to Take Anger Management Courses, Pt. 1

When your partner has anger management issues, it can affect your relationship in a million different ways. You may feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them to prevent provoking their anger. There are times when you may even feel that their angry outbursts are your fault, even if they were triggered by another stressor in their lives.

Anger problems within a relationship can cause serious strain. It may even end up ruining the relationship. If your partner is ordered by a judge to take anger management courses, it may be the one thing you needed to save the relationship.  But you may be wondering, “How can I support them while they take online anger management courses?”

Stay Calm

When your partner becomes angry, the most important thing for you to do is remain calm. Answering their anger with more anger will only exacerbate the situation. As your partner goes through their classes, they will be learning ways to manage their anger. If you remain calm, the anger will subside much more quickly. If you unknowingly create additional turbulence at home, it could throw them off-track.

Practice Constructive Communication

Sometimes your partner may react angrily if they think you aren’t listening to them, or appreciating them. That’s where effective communication comes in. Listen carefully to what they are saying, and then respond in a way that shows you listened and understood. Sometimes simply validating their emotions is enough to calm them down. Try to understand what they need and communicate it back to them so that they know you heard. This encourages them to tell you how they feel in a calmer manner the next time there is an issue.

These are just a few tips you can use to help your partner as they go through court ordered anger management courses.